Don't Blink

Stages… all stages are hard. The newborn stage, the baby stage, the toddler stage, the early elementary stage, the late elementary stage, you get the idea… As a mother of an upcoming 6th and 8th grader, I can attest that up to this point, each stage has been hard in its own aspect, but oh so rewarding! Don’t blink because as soon as you do, you’re in the next stage.

Both of my boys had very interesting births. With my oldest, Drew, I had an exceptionally easy labor and delivery. I came into the hospital around midnight, was induced, started pushing around 1:00 PM, and he was born at 1:37 PM. But as soon as he was born, all the nurses and doctors gathered around him. The nurse did not put him on my chest, I could only hear him cry. My husband, Derek, was trying to get answers but no doctor had one. When they finally handed Drew to me, he looked like someone had taken a Sharpie and put “spots” all over him. We saw several pediatricians and dermatologists in Macon. The dermatologist in Macon biopsied a larger mole on the side of his head and a smaller mole on his thigh, which both came back as benign (whew!). But they still sent us to Emory Pediatric Dermatology, and after a year, it was determined that the “spots” Drew was born with were nothing more than benign moles (he was only 1 of 7 reported cases in the world to be diagnosed with this), and he would be just fine! As Drew has grown, his moles have gone away, and you would never know!

Going into my second birth, I had no fear because Drew’s labor/delivery had been so easy. Well, it started off that way. Once again, I was induced. When my fantastic OBGYN came to check on me around 10:30 AM, he had to break my water (normal procedure), but Bo, who has continued to be stubborn, was still higher in my abdomen than he should have been. When the amniotic fluid came out, the umbilical cord decided to come too. The doctor couldn’t figure out why Bo’s heart rate was irregular, so he checked and felt the cord, which turned into an emergency c-section. When I awoke after the surgery, I found out I had a beautiful baby boy! 

After having my two boys, I have figured out that the newborn stage is my least favorite. Mainly because you’re trying to figure everything out and keep them alive at the same time! Between the witching hour, colic, and ALL the sickness, but they can’t tell you what’s wrong, it’s just hard. Then they’re so snuggly, smiley and sweet, and most of all, don’t talk back! 

The toddler stage is where the fun really begins because they’re trying to figure life out, and you’re telling them everything they are trying, they can’t do. The word “no” becomes a constant, and the meltdowns begin. My boys are ALL boy! They stayed outside all the time…playing in the mud, laying on the dogs, throwing a ball, and “cutting” everything with whatever stick they could find. Watching them learn and explore was so much fun. Telling them they can’t actually eat the dog food like the dog, not so much!

As the boys got older, they continued to love the outdoors (hunting, fishing, football, and baseball). With having boys who enjoy these sports comes injuries. Our personal favorite seems to be stitches (Drew-3, Bo-2, Mama-1…but mine is another story for another time). Watching your kids through physical pain hurts you as much as their pain is hurting them. I am not a fan of any type of blood, but I have been with both boys through all their stitches, holding their hand, on the verge of passing out myself, but I wanted them to know I was there and would be there. We have gone through bumps and bruises and emergency rooms, but through everything, holding their hands was one of the best things I could do.

 Speaking of holding hands, you will find yourself holding their hands through tears during the daycare program because your son (Drew) refuses to sing, through the halls of Pre-K and Kindergarten and wonder how your baby became big enough to go to school, through funerals of grandparents when you’re trying to hold it together so that they can fall apart, or randomly when you think they’re too grown, but he (Bo) reaches to hold your hand while walking through the Walmart parking lot just because. It’s little moments like these that make you realize they still need their mama.

Transitions are tough. Period. The transition from daycare to elementary school is truly the first time you realize that your baby is not a baby anymore. Drew has a late July birthday, so we had to make a decision to send him to Pre-K right after he turned 4 or wait until he turned 5. We decided to wait, which if you want my unsolicited advice, is the way to go! I truly believe that by waiting, his transition was easier because he was slightly more mature (well, as mature as a 5 year old can be), but as he’s gotten older and already gone through two years of middle school, he has the maturity advantage over some of his younger classmates. I honestly believe that Bo’s transition from daycare to elementary school went so smoothly because, as much as my boys argue, Bo knew that Drew was right around the corner if he needed anything.

The transition from elementary to middle school was equally bittersweet. I am a teacher at our middle school, so Drew had an advantage of already knowing the lay of the land before going. But having your mom at your school, when you’re a preteen, is so lame! I have had the wonderful honor of embarrassing him as much as possible over the last two years! In fact, I have half of the upcoming 8th grade class calling him “Punkin.” Next year, I have the pleasure of sharing that embarrassment with Bo! But knowing that Drew only has one more year in middle school, and Bo is starting his middle school career is like a sucker punch! They cannot be old enough to both be middle school, and I’m certainly not old enough to have two middle schoolers!

I can affirm that so far each stage of life has been both difficult and rewarding at the same time. I’m entering the stage of the teenage years, which I’m well aware of the sleepless nights that will surely lie ahead. So my words of wisdom are to enjoy each moment as they come, both the hills and valleys. Find your circle of friends to call, lean on, cry and laugh with, or just to pour a glass of wine and vent your frustrations. But more importantly, don’t blink!